21 Days

21 Days to a new habit.  That's all it takes.  At least this is common wisdom.  And coach's wisdom, too.

Several weeks ago I made a decision to explore establishing a new pattern.  The decision came as a result of realizing that I was doing something good for me, but only on the days that I felt I really needed it.

When I awoke on days that were busy, packed, involved a lot of people, and that involved doing new things (days I love by the way), I would realize that starting the day 'right' was important, so I would meditate for twenty minutes.  It was the realization that I was only making meditation a priority on the days that 'I needed it' that led me to realize I was thinking about this all wrong.

What if I were to meditate every day?  Even those days that were relatively easier.  Would this practice add to the quality of all of my days?

I do notice an appreciable difference on the days I meditate.  I am more focused, lighter somehow.  And I experience this no matter what the quality of the meditation.   What I mean by this is that some days I am deeply focused in meditation, others it seems that all I do is notice I am thinking about something and then pulling myself back to my breath.  The quality of the meditation on these days is clearly less focused, and scattered.  And yet, I notice that the quality of the day that follows a meditation, whether focused or scattered, is a high quality day.  It seems that the very act of taking the time to sit and breathe is what is making the difference. No surprise here, really.  This is what most of the experts on meditation will say -- the importance is the sitting, not 'doing it right', whatever that is.

So, on June 23rd, I began 21 days of meditating in the morning.  For twenty minutes.  I have been using Jon Kabat-Zinn's Series 3 Guided Mindfulness Meditation.  Kabat-Zinn has a soothing voice, and leaves plenty of space between speaking, and gently pulls you back in when you wander.

What is interesting is that the nine days that I have been doing this seem much longer than nine days.  On my seventh day, I thought 'Wow, it is only a week.  No wonder 21 days makes a habit.  It seems like a habit already."

I am using an interesting structure for myself too, a reminder to do this everyday.  It is a green Roche Brothers rubber band (it came from my blueberry container).  I am wearing it on my left wrist, and I wrote the date '23' on it.  If I should miss a day in my 21 days, I will move the rubber band to my right hand, cross out the '23', write in the new date, and begin my 21 days all over again.  I don't think I will miss though.  The green rubber band is a great reminder.  And really, the daily benefit is the best reminder.

Others in the family are getting into the act too, at least the four-legged ones.  I opened my eyes at the end of my meditation the other day to see both cats and the dog surrounding me.  Animals are very affected by energy, and I take it as a good sign that they wanted to be near.

What is important about this story to me is this.  I have known about the benefits of meditation for years, decades really.  And I sometimes meditated.  Now, I am committing to daily meditation (oh, even putting this on the page gets me my heart beat a little faster, interesting)!

I am committing to do this every day, and to notice what is different and better about the quality of those days.

Walking my talk.  Putting my money where my mouth is.  And all those great aphorisms.

It feels good.  I am smiling right now.  Intending to spend the day reaping the benefit of a short, yet powerful daily twenty minutes. 

Comments

[Terri (Linton) Connors]

Better than tying a string around your finger! I love your idea of using a rubber band with the numerical date written on it as a reminder of your goal to form a new habit.

I've been enjoying your blog since WW mentioned you were keeping it.

Best of luck with all your new habits, Kerry!